One good thing for families’ mental health: Play!
In this series, we’re speaking to Unity Health Toronto experts about the strategies they use to help their own mental health and recommend to others too.
Dr. Ripudaman Minhas is a developmental pediatrician at St. Michael’s Hospital.
What’s one good thing parents and children can do to help deal with stress?
We’re at a point where everybody is really tired. What I’m hearing from parents is that it’s been exhausting to keep up with the evolution of the pandemic, our understanding of it and the latest public health recommendations. There’s a lot of uncertainty and there’s no real reprieve. It’s especially hard now that we’re in the winter months.
At a time when so many things are hard to understand or out of our control, it’s important to pause and to reflect on what is within our control, particularly for children who have borne a broad range of repercussions during the pandemic. Children have told us they feel helpless – this pandemic is happening to them and without them being active participants in decision-making. So it’s important for families to talk about the things children can do safely.
I recommend families look at strategies to be playful. Having time built into your schedule for a games night or for outdoor physical play like throwing a ball around, going for a walk or playing in the snow are so important. These are things that help families disconnect from the day-to-day stress and spend time together. It helps to remind us that there are things we can do that are within our control, and that we are capable of having fun and enjoying the company of others safely.
For me, play can be with my son or taking the dog for a walk. We try to schedule in board games nights as a family – right now we’re playing a lot of Monopoly, but I’m actually a really big fan of any card game. Imagine playing a game of Crazy 8’s with a nine year old – as much as you think that there’s strategy involved, it’s a bit of an equal playing field. It’s just a game of chance!
One other thing that we use a lot in our clinic is the “three wishes strategy.” When children or youth are feeling really low, ask them if they had three wishes, without the promise of them coming true, what would they ask for. There’s something about putting your time, energy and brain power into what would make you feel better in this moment that makes big problems seem more manageable. You might be surprised by what you hear. It’s important for feelings to come out, and for children and youth to feel heard in their experience.
-As told to Jennifer Stranges. This interview has been edited and condensed.